Playing with Fire
by Mezame
Summary: For his freedom from the River Styx, Hades is forced to make a deal with a mortal. Not accustom to being on equal terms with a mortal woman, he's going to have to 'play his cards right' in order to get the 'upper hand'... The same goes for Mezame, the curious female who's only desire is his company. (Story also in comic form, see chapters for link)
1. Chapter 1 The Deed

Chapter 1

The Deed

What would you do if the one person admired, more that any other being, was hidden behind reality's unbreakable wall?

What would you do if your only hope of ever encountering them would require you to place yourself in mortal danger?

And what would you do if someone magically appeared out of the blue… and gave you the opportunity to do just that?

…

Excitement can be a very dangerous thing. Who would have thought it? I know it would never have crossed _my_ mind. When I was asked to perform this deed they didn't have to ask me twice, I jumped at the chance. Yet for weeks after I committed this act I would be asking myself why, why did I do it? Why did I feel so compelled to free him?

The Fates clearly knew why. Or at least, they knew I was more than happy to help. But after they gave me the power to restore the god of the Underworld back to his former glory I would never see the Fates again. They gave me the gift, whisked me away, and that was that. They left me to wander the rocky grounds of a new reality.

At least it wasn't a shock to me. I'd crossed this barrier before, and I'm not referring to the act of freeing a god, that was new to me. I'm talking about transitioning from one world to another. I'd done this before, although this particular world was a first.

Reality had shifted. I was in a new world and I knew the rules.

Rule one: Don't reveal anything about the future to the world's inhabitants, which didn't matter anyway because on this occasion I didn't know any future events. Rule two: Don't lie, that's something I'm forbidden to do. Although that doesn't mean I always have to tell the truth, thankfully. This particular rule does give me some breathing space though. It's three strikes, and I'm out.

Now, if I break the first two rules I'm sent home, as is always the case. But as for the third rule, breaking that does the opposite. Rule three: Never reveal my real name. If I do, I'll be trapped in the world I'm in. Don't ask me how this one works. I don't make the rules and I've never been able to figure them out.

Fortunately for me, I've never met anyone in another world who wasn't aware that 'Mezame' wasn't my real name. I don't have to tell them it's my alias. It's my name, when I'm not at home in my own world.

'Mezame' was my name right now, right this second as I stood on the edge of a rocky cliff. Embowered by grey-blue granite and so deep in the earth's crust I was sheltered from all natural light.

This was where my little imp escorts had brought me. This was the last place their boss was seen as a free god. Now he was trapped at the bottom of his own deathly river and I was carrying with me, at that very second, the only thing that could get him out.

This was _very_ special, the circumstances I was in, and I had every intention of taking full advantage of the situation. I had something he wanted, but I wasn't going to just hand it over. I was in a position to demand a price for his freedom. I was in a position to make one of my greatest desires become reality and it was time to put my bargaining skills to the test.

"I have the power right here." I called down into the green abyss as I stood upon the jagged edge of the cliff. "Now do you want out or not?"

I may have sounded bold, but beneath my firm demeanour my anxiety was steadily increasing as I awaited a response. Hearing his voice for the first time had already made me smile uncontrollably. But now, only a few seconds later, uncertainty had taken control and I was worried that he might not like the terms I had laid out for him.

There was a long pause, before the silence was finally shattered by the god's sharp and distinctly cocky voice. "Help me out here, boys." He called out to his minions. "C'mon, what's she look like?"

The demonic duo gave each other worrying expressions, like they were unsure of how to answer. My face soon matched theirs as I began to have concerns of my own about the success of my bargain.

" _HeLLOO_?" Their fiery ruler cried out impatiently. "She pretty? She clueless? Does she look like she's gonna cause trouble? What!?"

"She doesn't look half bad." The pudgy pink imp dared answer with an uneasy tone. "But…" He paused, unable to conclude.

"Ah-I don't know what she's supposed to be wearing." The thin, green, second half of the duo finished off his companion's comment.

I felt obliged to comment myself. "You shouldn't judge people by what they look like or what they wear." I firmly objected. "I happen to be from the future."

At which point, the two little monsters erupted with laughter at the absurdness of my admission.

Their laughter only powered my confidence. "It's true!" I barked at them. "Ask the Fates if you don't believe me. They're the ones who brought me here."

I still didn't know where all this confidence was coming from. Perhaps it was because the main attraction was still beyond my reach and unable to touch me or cause me harm. Maybe it was also because I was talking to his minions rather than the god himself. This of course was about to change as the same voice that gave me chills spoke freely once again.

"So." The eerie voice of the Underworld god echoed back at me. "A canny little _hussy_ from another cosmos."

I looked away over my shoulder. "You could say that." I uttered. I didn't know whether he was complimenting or complaining. Either way, he was only making me ever more nervous.

I had to fight through my fear and and try to focus. Our conversation had drifted off topic and I had to quickly return to reason I'd come to his Underworld in the first place.

"Look." I breathed out as I relaxed my shoulders. "I'm not going to be a pain if that's what you're worried about." I wanted to easy any concerns he may have had about this dabling damsel who he may soon have to share his Underworld with. But my attempts to ease would only lead to more troubling questions.

"What d'you want with me anyway?" The witty Lord of the Dead was still suspicious. "What's in it for you?"

I tensed once again. I really didn't know how to answer this question, and unbeknownst to me at the time, it would take me weeks to figure it out. What _did_ I want with him? At the time, the only answer I could provide was the one told to me by the bewitching trio whose powers brought me here.

"Well, the Fates couldn't do this by themselves." I began to explain. "They needed a mortal to do the job, and I was the only one willing to free you."

In a snap, my godly inquisitor cut me off right at the end of my sentence. "That's not answering my question." He spoke to me in such a cunning tone. Why did I have the feeling that if I could see his face he would be smirking? "Y'know I've had mortals ask me for bigger than this." He resumed. "I've had lowlifes come crawling to my Underworld begging me to raise somebody from the dead, that's the one I'm _used_ to hearing… But you?"

My breathing became heavier. Being put on the spot like this only made it that much harder for me to come up with a satisfying answer. I truly didn't know what compelled me to accept the offer of the Fates. I just found the opportunity too special to resist.

"You're a myth in my world. I thought meeting you would be interesting." I tried my hardest to explain what I knew without breaking the second rule and lying. "Besides." I quickly changed the topic once again. "Someone's got to bring you back, and the Fates knew I was willing to do it."

After making my best attempt to satisfy this god's question, I could then relay to him my demands. I had already specified what I wanted at the start of our conversation, but now I'm about to reveal my terms to my readers too.

"I'm not asking for much." I dissed my own desires in hopes of persuading the Underworld god. "Just to come and go as I please without any harm coming to me."

That was all I wanted. Which is why the reason I wanted to free him became so troubling. I wasn't just wanting to free him. I wanted…him. I didn't ask for immortality or for someone's soul to be saved, or for anything that any other mortal might have asked him for before. I wanted _him_. Or, at least to be around him. And since I knew how dangerous this Underworld god could potentially be, I wanted to be able to wander in his world without risk of harm.

So that was it. If he made this deal with me then I would be staying right here in the Greek Underworld, in the presence of this deathly god. I couldn't be made to leave, and I couldn't be harmed either.

Maybe this is what made him suspicious of me. Not only was this an unusual request in exchange for his freedom, but what if having me around became a burden to him? Perhaps this is what he was worried about.

"You got a name?" That voice again, curious or seductive, I couldn't tell. But regardless, I needed to take another deep breath before I could relax enough to reply.

"Mezame." My otherworldly name left my lips in a rather unexpectedly proud tone. Maybe it was because my name always sounds so unique that I was able to announce it so confidently.

It seemed that the Lord of the Dead somewhat agreed, even if for different reasons. "That doesn't sound like a mortal name."

It wasn't a question, but it still required a answer. "It's my mortal name." I clarified. "And remember, I'm from another world. I'm not Greek either, so that might explain it."

There came a short silence, or at least there would have been silence if not for a short hum from Underworld god as he pondered about the situation.

I dared shatter the quiet. I had to help move things along. This was my only chance, even if I still didn't know what this 'chance' entailed. My only chance to do what? I would never find out if I let it slip my grasp.

"Why hesitate?" I smiled calmly for the first time since our conversation began. "I'm not going to get in your way, and don't you want to get out of there? And get back to being the almighty God of the Underworld?"

Persuasion is a talent I had never practiced before. Surely he wouldn't just walk away from the freedom I was offering. It must have been unbearable for him being in such a weak position, robbed of his power and so helplessly stranded.

"I mean let's face it." I used this very principle to my advantage. "You're in no position to do anything where you are. You're not exactly an almighty god when you're stuck at the bottom of a whirlpool."

"Alright-alright okay!" His sharp echoing voice cut me off once again and silenced me on the spot. But it wasn't his voice that made my spine tingle with excitement. It was what he was about to say next that would make my eyes widen. "… _We got a deal_."

My heart pulsed with anticipation. The great god of the Underworld had swayed and I couldn't contain the smile on my face that tightened my cheeks so tensely. But despite the thrill I was experiencing, I was determined not to be imprudent, and I still had enough control over my impulses not to give in to them. Before I made a deal with a devil, it was essential that my rewards were made clear.

"Free to roam wherever you roam without any harm coming to me?" I reiterated the terms or our bargain.

That seductively smooth tone drifted to my ears. "You get me outta here?" He confirmed. "I'm all yours. Just, try not to get on my badside, alright?"

This was it. The conclusion had been reached, and I all had to do was utter a single word that would change my near future, and set in stone an exclusive and truly exceptional contract between a mortal and a god.

"Alright." I exhaled as every ounce of apprehension and caution escaped my human body. "Deal."

[ _Read in comic format :D_ ]

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'deviantArt' - 'stardust-phantom' - 'comics' - 'playing with fire'


	2. Chapter 2 The Brink

Chapter 2

The Brink

This was the great hall in the Underworld, and in the centre once stood the familiar chessboard where the ruler of this world plotted his attack on the paradise in the clouds.

Alas, his best laid plans had been foiled. And now all that remained in the centre of this vast rocky room was another entrance to the deathly River Styxs. This is where I had to send the gift the Fates had granted me plummeting down to the glowing green abyss.

I should have been ecstatic beyond comprehension, but in all truthfulness, I was not nearly as optimistic as I was only seconds ago when I struck my deal. Realisation had taken hold and I was now petrified. Once I did this there would be no going back, and even though this world needed their Underworld god (whether they liked him or not), I knew that nobody in this Grecian kingdom was going to be pleased to see their Lord of the Dead resurrected to torment them once again. Even Pain and Panic did not bear expressions of anticipation on their faces, instead they rattled and shivered with eyes wide open as they stared at me.

I too was afraid, I shall admit. But the die was cast, so to speak, and I was standing on the brink of no return. Or at least the brink of the river, despite the safety of a jagged iron fence that only reached as high as my waist. Hardly enough to prevent me, or anyone, from taking an early bath.

Having already taken the glowing gift from my bag, I now held it over the edge at arm's length. It was at this point that I noticed that it was my turn to start shaking. My fist wouldn't keep still as my fingers trembled around their grasp of the orb. I took a few deep breaths to try and steady myself, I even found myself quoting Ellie from The Last of Us in my head; 'Just stay calm.' I told myself. 'Stay calm.' I also recalled that this quote in the game was preceded by the words; 'Don't worry, I've done this before'… That was the part I couldn't relate to… Well, there's a first time for everything, right?

With another breath I regained control. I finally relaxed my fist and my once tense grip slackened enough to allow the object to slip from my fingers.

Down it went. Into the green yonder, falling so far away I could no longer see it. I didn't see a splash or anything. All I saw as I looked down over the edge was the same eerie sight of slimy souls meandering in the emerald water… Nothing was happening.

Was it possible that the Fates had given me the wrong tool? But how could they? There's nothing about this world that they don't know. But then again, they might have given me the wrong gift deliberately. To set me up or something… 'Why would they set you up?' Another Ellie quote passed through my mind…

…As if my nerves weren't shot enough, when an almighty rush of emerald green water exploded from the hall's core, rising like a waterfall defying gravity itself…

Pain panicked and Panic joined in the panic as they sped off to cower behind their master's unholy throne. I was now alone as smoke began to fill the room, blanketing my surroundings and swallowing me in a black mist. I didn't cough on the fumes as much as I gasped repeatedly, my anxiety transforming into cold fear. What had I done? What was happening?…

…All my questions would be answered soon enough, as the fumes cleared and the dark, black, stoney hall was revealed to me once again… But that wasn't all that was revealed to me…

Robes like jet black smoke, an ominous skull pinning them together, fire of a cool sapphire blue burning so fiercely… And a menacing grin of spiked teeth and sinister intent aimed in my direction…

"HOLY **OLYMPUS** DOES IT FEEL GOOD TO BE OUTTA THERE!" …

[ _Read in comic format :D_ ]

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'deviantArt' - 'stardust-phantom' - 'Comics' - 'Playing with Fire'


	3. Chapter 3 The Fun has Arrived

Chapter 3

The Fun has Arrived

Hey, is it my turn already? Pft, about time! This no-account writer oughta get her priorities in order. I mean what am I? Pluto the dog? Huh? Am I this broad's pet!?

Listen, hot shots, I don't care if that dabling damsel started this whole thing off. I'm the main attraction in this masterpiece, alright? I'm the highlight of the party and when I walk into a room, I expect good little mortals like you to shut up to hear what I have to say. That all crystal clear enough for ya? Good. Now let's get on with the story.

I can't tell ya how it felt to be back in the hot seat. Holy Hera! I mean the relief, babe! Watchout mortals, the almighty Lord of the Dead had returned! Hades was back, suckers! Large, and in charge!

It really didn't take me long to get all worked up about it, exclaiming at the top of my lungs and all. But I was also quick to recall the reason for my return.

Seemed a little odd at the time to think that I had a woman to thank for my freedom. I remember the first time I laid eyes on that broad. Let me tell ya, she had me curious right off the block. Most mortals crawl away for cover when they see me, as you can probably imagine. I mean I'm the bozo they've gotta answer to when their time's up. Anybody who winds up in the Underworld cowers before me. Hey, I don't mind. It actually makes me feel kinda big.

But this chick? Was she scared? Was she cowering? No. She just stared at me her eyes wide open and the corners of her lips going all curvy. It was like she was in a trance or something. She seen something she liked, huh?

What the heck, I let her have her moment. And this particular moment was perfect for a introduction. Just who was this curvy little hussy and what did she want with me?

"And who do I have to thank for my freedom," I charmed. "But a simple minded mortal."

I watched her back up at that moment. Her eyes looked away but her smile only got bigger. "Oh I'm far from simple minded." At least there was nothing wrong with her come back, even if she was smiling like an idiot.

Most mortals are nothing special so this was a pretty remarkable claim she was making, and I wasn't about to believe it without testing the water.

"Oh really?" I hummed a little laughter. "Maybe I oughta find that out for myself, hmm?"

She couldn't even look at me now, almost like she was fighting an internal battle to wipe that kooky smile off her face. I was enjoying myself already. I mean was this chick a sucker or what?

"Seeing as how you're gonna be down here for quite a while." I snuck in a hint of persuasion. "We're gonna have plenty of time to get to know each other." And yes, I meant that in an intimate way.

"That's what I'm hoping for." She managed to squeak out an answer. Looks like little miss modest had some confidence hidden behind that smile…

What she was hoping for? Wait a minute. Was she just being blunt honest or did she, like, completely miss the point. What? Did that hint of mine just fly straight over the top of her head? She'd even managed to make eye contact, even though I'd just made a move! It was like she didn't get it. Hey, missy, I'm trying to flirt with you here. Missy…Err, Meza…What was her name again?

"What did you say your name was?" Hey, I'm sharp. I'm not the type to miss the details, I'm as shrewd as they come. But that name was so unusual it slipped my mind.

The blushing broad breathed deep, like she was finding it easier to keep her cool. "Mezame." Ah, I remember now.

You know what? She'd pretty much calmed down by this point. Maybe she gotten used to the heat, or maybe it was because those deep breaths had eased her. Either way, she wasn't so quick to shy away anymore. Even though it should have been obvious by this stage that I was flirting with her.

I gotta admit, I kinda prefered those shy moments to what I was seeing now. Hey, could I help it if she didn't pick up on my moves? Was it my fault she was dumb as a dodo? I had to be a little more obvious here, or this chick was never gonna take a hint.

"And you came to my neck of the woods…" I leaned in closer, almost at a whispering distance. "'Cause you thought I was hot?"

She twitched. She fidgeted. No so oblivious to the obvious this time, huh?

"Because I was the only mortal willing to free you." She squeaked again. Can you believe it? She actually gave me an answer! Yeesh. After all the heat I put on her some how she still managed to hold down her confidence. "Although you do walk around with your head on fire."

Was she coming back at me now? Eh, I can't say her come back wasn't lame, but it had it's own charm. It screamed 'innocent'. It screamed 'I'm a sucker so take me for all I got'.

And it seemed that those dimwitted imps wanted in on the action too, as they hesitantly shuffled their way towards me and the broad. What? Had she piqued their curiosity now?

I was still smirking and snickering from that innocently lame pun. "I like her, boys." I pointed to the dame and gave the guys a little praise for bringing her here. "I like her already." Looks like that pair of pinheads got something right for once.

I had to give the boys some credit. They were the ones who brought her to me in the first place, even if the old hags did most of the work. Hey, rewind a sec. Didn't this chick say something about being the only mortal actually rooted for my return? Wasn't that why the old dears picked her in the first place? Hey, if she didn't want me so she could flirt with me, then what did she want with me?

I was getting curious all over again. Her deal was all about wanting to stick around the Underworld and I wanted to know what on earth possessed her to want that! I mean, of all things!

"But seriously, babe." I cut the seduction, I wanted a straight answer this time. "What made you come get me?"

"Errm… L-Lord, Hades?"

The jittering of that sneaky green schnook almost ruined the mood. And I was in no mood to tolerate interruptions.

"What?" I snapped. "Can't cha see I'm trying to get acquainted here?"

The nerve of this skinny imp. He'd better come up with something good or I was gonna singe him alive.

Turns out, he didn't have to come up with anything at all. He just cowered behind his buddy and let Pain do all the talking.

"Um, we're compelled to remind you, your gruesomeness, that the Underworld has been without a god for quite a few days, uh, weeks, and um…"

…As soon as those words escaped the mouth of that little fatso I face palmed on the spot. Panic took over, but just as before, the two of them only served to tick me off.

"And, um, there's quite a lot of mortals who've sorta been dying in all that time."

I didn't wanna hear it… I didn't care if those stuttering morons had a point, I didn't wanna be reminded, least of all at that moment, that I was still the boss of the Underworld and still forced to slave away harbouring every pathetic, measly soul who fell victim to the plague of DEATH!

"Ugh, jeez." My eyes were closed up tight. It took all my self control not to crack. I didn't wanna lose it in front of the broad… 'Easy, hot shot. Just keep your cool'… "I leave you people alone for five minutes and look what happens!"

I ranted. I couldn't help it. My snapped eyes open and I stormed off to scream at all the worthless worms that wriggled in my river.

"And you're telling me, that this curvy little dame, is the only mortal who wanted me back!?" I leaned over edge of the hollow window, giving them all a dirty look they wouldn't forget in a hurry. "To be honest, that doesn't surprise me. I hear you all the time, whining and complaining about your no-account Underworld god… I DON'T HEAR ANYBODY COMPLAINING WHEN THEY'RE DEAD!…"…

…Heh. For a second there I forgot I had company.

Yeesh, why do I always go from fun-loving to flashover at the worst possible time? Look, I have my problems. I have big problems. I have a lot of big problems. I'm the Lord of the Dead and I'm responsible for every stray bozo in this crummy Underworld. So I'm sure you'll forgive me if I get a little huffed up from time to time!

But right now wasn't the time nor the place to lose it, I had a lady-friend to entertain. And as if it wasn't bad enough that I burst into flames right in front of her eyes, I was about to drag myself away from her. Eh, I didn't wanna. But if I didn't break a leg this job was gonna bury me alive. I'd been away for five weeks so I already had a mountain to climb. (Sounds a ironic now that I think about it).

"Is…everything alright?" There she was again, just staring at me in awe.

I replied with a little less enthusiasm. "Yeah… Peachy." I couldn't have had a nice quiet job collecting art, could I? No. It had to be dead people.

Ugh, I hate mortals, except maybe this broad. This fumbling floozy had better be worth it. She'd better be different than all the low-lifes down here.

"Sorry, babe." Time to break the bad news. "I hate to love ya and leave ya, but I got a few hundred-thousand dead Grecians to clean up after."

"That's okay." Surprising to hear how understanding she was. I was expecting her to be, y'know, disappointed. "I'm not going anywhere, as per our deal."

Ah, so she was content so long as she could stay. I didn't have a problem with that. That was fine by me~

"I wouldn't have it any other way~" I tried to squeeze one last blush from her cheeks. It worked.

So I'd end up being dragged back to work so soon after my first breath of freedom. It almost made me wish I'd stayed put, if not for a twist of fate. It was back to business with one exception, I had somebody waiting for me at the end of it.

I had a feeling things were gonna be pretty interesting from now on, if I could survive the next few days without blowing myself up in the process. Look, I can't help it. I don't take stress well, I get burned on stress. Good thing this time round I had a lady-friend to keep me cool. That is, if she didn't warm me up all over again, if you know what I mean.

So yea, I was all ready to blow this place, but there was one last drop of sweet curiosity tempting me to tug a few more heartstrings. Or at least fire one last question.

"Hey, one last thing before I skedaddle." I smirked. "What's with that accent?" I couldn't help but notice she talked funny, so she sure as heck wasn't from my neighbourhood.

I gave a smile, and I got smile. Even if this one had a little more modesty to it. "It's British. I don't think it exists yet."

Y'know, as hot as I am, I'm still a badguy. And sometimes, I can't resist the odd taunt. "Sounds like you've been hitting the temple wine too hard."

Hey, I was just kidding around, even she'd know that. Although to tell ya the truth I couldn't guarantee it. I didn't know what kind of look she gave me this time, I was too smug to have cared. Besides, it was time to get back to business. Dead people don't look after themselves, unfortunately.

I swayed through the arch and out of the hall, with those pesky little imps following close behind.

"You guys are real party poopers, you know that?"


	4. Chapter 4 The Rumination

Chapter 4

The Rumination

I feel _fantastic_!

Or, at least I did at the time, when I was left standing in the great hall with the success of my bargain still brewing up fresh excitement in my overactive mind.

I couldn't believe I had done it. And now I was in the favour of the one person I had jumped worlds to see. Judging by the way he behaved towards me, I felt rather certain that I was more than just in his favour.

He liked me. Straight away he liked me. He smirked at me, he flirted with me, and even though he ended our introduction with what sounded like an insult, I still felt confident I was on his good side.

I can't believe how tall he is in real life. He's at least a good foot and a half taller than me, (and I'm only five foot). And he's so _warm_! Seriously! You wouldn't believe how cold the Underworld is despite it being closer to the earth's core than the surface. But the moment he walked into the room, the moment he was free, the room got very warm very quickly. And when he got close to me I could feel his heat radiating from his body. It wasn't just his flame hair, it was obvious the heat was coming from all over him. The warmth made my shoulders tingle and relaxed most of the muscles in my body. I really missed that warmth when he was gone.

Maybe not so much his scent, not that it was bad or anything. It's just, he smelt like…burning. Really. He really did smell like smoke. I wasn't sure if I found it unpleasant or not, it's just that my mind associates bad things with burning smells, as you can probably imagine. It wasn't physical, it was psychological. It wasn't that I didn't like the smell, it just set off a little alarm in my head. Although it wasn't the only alarm in me that he'd set off.

Oh yes, he has a very seductive demeanour. I do wonder what would have happened between us if Hades didn't have to drag himself away when he did. I'm getting chills just thinking about it.

Mezame. Get a hold of yourself. You're getting way too serious way too soon. You have to take a deep breath and take a step back. I know you acted on impulse when you made the decision to come here, but time wasn't on your side and you were pressure to make a choice quickly. But this is different and you can't let your excitement control you this time. Or else you might end up doing something you regret. Right now, he's gone. He's gone to work so make the most of this opportunity to reflect on the situation.

I did just that as I collected my rucksack and wandered out of the hall. I decided to give myself a tour of the new world I had just arrived in, seeing as how I was going to be calling it 'home' for as long as I wanted to remain here.

It almost felt like I was in Minecraft, just without all the squares. This whole place was like one massive network of caves, only these caves had faces of creepy things chiseled into the walls. I like creepy stuff. Like skeletons and spiders, that sort of thing. So I actually enjoyed the darkness of it all.

Speaking of darkness, it was rather dark down here. And cold. Like I mentioned earlier, when Hades was in the room the room was warm. But the moment he left he took the heat with him (in more ways than one). I usually prefer the cold to the heat, at least when it comes to the weather. I come from a cold country and I'm used to the cold, unlike most people who live in England, they relish the summer. But even I have my limits and needed to calm the goosebumps on my arms. My skin was like a freshly plucked chicken.

I slipped of a strap and lowered my bag to the ground. I had a jacket in here, among other things I threw in at short notice. Including a change of clothes, some tissues, both my iPods and headphones (I NEED my headphones, trust me), a solar-powered charger, my toothbrush and such, my epipens along with plenty other first aid stuff that I carry around in here anyway, and my notebook and clicky pencil. I am a _very_ avid writer. And if I can't take my iMac with me, (for obvious reasons), I'll just have to do things the old fashioned way. (Did you really think I'd remember all this off the top of my head? Of course not, I wrote everything down day by day as it happened).

I slipped on my small, black leather jacket over my arms. It's a tight fit, but it suits me. Not many things do, I don't have the figure for nice clothes. It wasn't that thick, but it would be enough to take the chill off for now. I'm sure I'd soon warm up again once Hades was back.

Hmm. Wait a moment. When _was_ he going to be back? Didn't he say he'd been trapped in that river for five weeks? How much work had accumulated in all that time? 'A few hundred-thousand Grecians' he said. How long was that going to take? Hours? Days?

I wouldn't be able to wait that long. What happens when I got tired? Where was I going to sleep? And of all the things I rushedly packed, I hadn't packed any food.

I started slowly spinning on the spot, twisting and turning around as I looked at my surroundings. I hadn't seen anything in the way of sleeping quarters or anything else that might accommodate my needs. All I'd seen were creepy things that seemed to symbolise the Underworlds main purpose, to house the dead. Hold on, if this place was only meant for dead people, a powerful god and his minions, then maybe it wasn't fit for mortal habitation.

I wasn't dead, I wasn't a god and I wasn't one of Hades' pawns. I was a mortal human female, and I was starting to become concerned that this new world I had leaped into on an excitable whim wasn't designed with mortals in mind. What would happen when I got tired? What would happen when I got hungry? And what about when I felt like I needed to…? Uh-oh.


	5. Chapter 5 The Problem with Mortals

Chapter 5

The Problem with Mortals

Life's not fair, peeps. Even immortal life. Right now as I speak, my brother's up there living the good life. The guy's got his head in the clouds, he doesn't even know just how good he has it. He's the ruler of all the other big-shots, the mortals adore him, he even gets harpy chicks waiting on his every demand. And what do I get?… A giant hold in the ground.

No harpy chicks waiting on me. Just a pair of numbskulls who thought they could run this place without me. Those dimwits couldn't run a bath. I'd been away for only a matter of weeks and they'd still managed to screw things up.

The first thing I noticed was the river. It wasn't as full as it should have been. What? Had everybody stop dying? Pft, if only. Until those boneheads on the surface discover the elixir of immortal life I'm stuck in a dead end job. So no, it wasn't my dream come true, it was just a case of missing souls. And I had to rely on those dumb imps to tell me where in this big empty Underworld they'd drifted off to. Hey, they were the only ones able to _see_ what was going on the whole time I was down and out.

"You see, after you were gone, they eventually they stopped going into the river on their own." That fatso Pain had the gall to smile at me at a time like this. Even his lanky partner in crime wasn't as jittery as usual.

"Yeah-yeah, and then they started drifting all around the Underworld and popping up all over the place."

Y'know, their relaxed attitudes had me concerned, like they had no idea how much trouble they'd landed themselves in. Besides, they weren't even answering my question. "So where are the bozos now?" I told it to them straight.

With the dumbest smile on his face, Panic pointed a claw towards the top of the cavern. "Well, most of them are up there."

I looked up to where the scrawny schnook was pointing and my buggy eyes almost popped out of my face. There they were, about sixty-feet up, floating around on the ceiling. On the _damn ceiling_! The moment I spotted them they flinched. Were these noaccount lowlifes trying to hide from me?

"What the name of Aphrodite's ass are they doing up there!?"

At last, a twinge of fear from those two halfwits, although they still had to cough up an answer.

"There was nobody here to put them in the river." They shivered.

That was their excuse? " _You_ were here." I growled just loud enough for them to hear me. But after what they blurted out next I wasn't sure if they heard me or not.

"It really wasn't so bad." The tubby one shrugged at me. "These dead guys turned out to be a lot of fun."

Fun? _Fun_!? What this imp talking about? I was still trying to figure it out when his skinny green friend joined in.

"You know, mortals can be so cool once you get to know them. One of them could even do bunny shadows."

…Was this what they'd been doing? The whole time I was out of business? Instead of taking the time to clean up the mess left behind by all the lowly souls in this Zeus-forsaken dump, these two morons were throwing a _party with the dead!?_

One flicker of orange was all it took, and those moronic dunderheads knew what was coming. "You knew about this… You knew…they were here…all this time. _And WHAT did you DO ABOUT IT_!?" Here's a lesson in stress management, peeps. When you're huffed up, singe the dorks who ticked you off. "DO I HAVE TO DO _EVERYTHING_!?"

"Um, Hades?"

"WHAT!?" Whoever it was they were about to be cremated, you could guarantee it!

I turned round, still burning and still ready to blow them apart. …Blue eyes, black skirt, a timid little frown on a peachy round face… …Woops.

This was the second time I'd lost it in front of the doll. I gotta get that temper under control. Cool it, hotshot. We got a lady in the house.

I tried, but I can't always come down as fast as I blow up. I closed my eyes up tight and took a deep breath. I was cool for now but I had a lot of mess going on here. I didn't know how long this timeout was gonna last.

I couldn't tell it with charm this time, I could only tell it to her straight. "Look. Babe. I'm busy, what is it?"

The broad fumbled around, looking away like she was getting herself worked up. "Um, it's a bit difficult to say."

Look, just because I didn't feel up to flirting didn't mean I was gonna be mean. I didn't wanna lose her respect. "Hey, no problem. Just spit it out."

The doll kept on fidgeting. "Um. There's something I need…to ask."

I was trying _so_ hard to be nice. But she'd caught me at a bad time, she really had, and at that moment all I wanted was for her to run along and leave me to work. This chick was beating around the bush and I didn't have time for it. "Listen, sweetheart, I haven't got all day. Would you just tell me what it is?"

She took a few deep breaths. I gotta say, whatever it was, it gave her stagefright. Must have been something pretty important to get so her worked up.

"Um, is, um, everything in the Underworld only designed to look after dead people? And you?"

…Was that it? That's what got her all stressed out? Even though I doubted it I leaped at the first chance I to usher her away.

"It sure is." I _just about_ managed a smile that time. "Now if you don't mind, I've got work to do and I don't have time for trivia."

"I'm not here for trivia." The broad came back at me. "I haven't asked what I need to ask yet."

Ugh, jeeze. I was getting impatient by this point. "Then make it _quick_."

"I intend to!" Now it was the broad's turn to get antsy. "I need…something."

"Oh, for crying out loud!" I face palmed. What was _with_ this chick!?

"I'm a mortal!" She squealed. "I need stuff! I need food and water and…other things!"

…Ah… Now I got it.

Y'know, the Underworld ain't exactly the same as hell. But there's one tiny little notion that remains the same. Eternity _without_ relief. So if this doll was planning on going to the bathroom while she was here then she needed a reality check. Hey, those are the facts. If she doesn't like it, tough. She should have thought about this before coming here.

I turned my back, I really didn't know how I was gonna deal with this one. "See this is why nobody takes a vacation down _here_.".

"Quite." The little hussy huffed. "Now please. What do I do? Help me."

I didn't even look at her. "I can't."

But she wasn't about to give up. "Why not?"

"I can't make you leave this place, remember?" Duh. "That's part of the deal."

Yeah, I dropped a little hit, and for once she caught on. "You mean I have to go to the surface to get what I need?"

"Y-ep." That's as black and white as it gets. No bathrooms in the Underworld. You want go? You gotta blow.

"Then tell me how to get there." She whined at me again. "You can't make me leave, but if it's the only way to get what I need then right now I want to. So long as I can get back." Yeesh, this chick wasn't so sweet now that she was _demanding_.

I looked over my shoulder, just enough to look her in the eye. "You wanna leave?" Dumb question for a dumb broad.

"And come back when I'm done." And the crabby little drama queen folded her arms and put the onus on me to solve her problem.

It was easy enough, and hey, it solved both problems at the same time.

"And you can't stop me coming back. If you do then you'll break-" Poof! I click my fingers and just like that, she was gone.

So what if I cut her off in mid rant? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'd heard it all before. I knew the rules. She didn't have to tell me. The broad was just wasting my time.

Look, don't get me wrong, I was still interested. I still liked the doll and I still adored the idea of keeping her around. But now wasn't a good time. I get burned on stress and I didn't wanna burn her too, if you know what I mean.

Besides, if she was gonna keep turning on the drama then she was only gonna make things worse. _For the both of us_.


	6. Chapter 6 The Quandary

Chapter 6

The Quandary

I was engulfed in black smoke and dust, so much so I started coughing as I shielded my eyes from the fumes. What had he done to me? Was this his godly powers instantly sending me to the world above?

Could it really be anything else? I had my answer soon enough as the mist cleared and what my eyes saw next wasn't the cold black rocky walls of the Underworld. The first thing I saw was green, darkness, vague shadows of movement as the wind flourished in the world around me. I could feel the cool breeze glide over my skin and the sight of branches swaying in the night air.

Night! It was nighttime! I had no idea! I had been sent straight to the Underworld, this was my first time on the surface. I'd just assumed it was daytime when I arrived because it was daytime in my own world when I left. But no, it was definitely nighttime in the land of ancient Greece.

I glanced at my surroundings as I turned around to give myself a full view of where I was. For a moment I just took everything in, but only for a moment. I had more urgent matters to attend to than observing the nature I had found myself in the midst of.

My reluctant host of this strange world told me that since the Underworld had no facilities for mortal needs I had to go to the surface to meet these needs. But I couldn't see anything around me that would allow me to do this. Why had he sent me here? Was I expected to just go in the woods? …It was a good job I had tissues in my rucksack.

What the hell!? Even when I had a god for company I was still expected to go pee in the woods like a cavewoman. I didn't care if such a thing may have been common practice for ancient Grecians, (I didn't know if it was or not). But I wasn't a Grecian and I wasn't ancient! I was a twenty-first century woman and I was accustomed to twenty-first century plumbing!

Surely he didn't expect me to keep doing this. Not every time I needed something like this. And what about water? The water bottle in my bag was half empty already. Where was I going to find clean water? And what about food? And somewhere to sleep? And how on earth was I going to return to the Underworld from where I was, standing in the middle of the forest?

I shivered as the wind raced over my arms once again, though it really wasn't that cold. How could it be? This was a southern European climate even if it was nighttime. But it gave me a feeling of vulnerability. Weren't there monsters in this world? Like the ones Hercules was always fighting? It was dark and I was surrounded by woodland and any second I could be ambushed by a villain hiding behind a tree.

I couldn't see very well, even with my glasses. It was too dark for my eyes to get an accurate picture. This only added to my nerves as my head kept turing and my eyes kept swaying. There had to be a way out of here.

" _You can't keep me here_." I whispered to myself, too afraid to speak any louder in such a quiet environment. " _You can't keep me out. You'll break your deal_."

I wanted to go back. I'd finished my business and I wanted to return to safety. I was scared. I was alone in the dark, outside in a strange place I'd never been before. Time began to pass as I explored this naturalistic environment, and soon enough I had been wandering around for several minutes. I wanted to go back, and he couldn't shut me out or else he'd shut himself out. I wanted to go back. How do I get back?

" _There she is_!"

My heart almost leaped out of my ribs as I jumped and spun round on the spot. I looked up to where the voice had come from, up into the waving branches where I had been sighted by an unknown entity. What I heard next was laughter, very familiar laughter, from _two_ entities that wouldn't remain unknown for much longer.

"Haahahah!" A burst of chuckles roared from the mouth of the little green imp. "Pain, you prankster! You scared the life out of her!…Hey, that's my job." Panic laughed with his playmate until a moment's realisation interrupted his amusement.

I stared up into the canopy and in the dark I could just make out the faintness of their colours. Hades' little minions had found me in the wilderness, and I could only assume that the god himself had sent them to collect me.

"Daw, isn't she cute?" Pain peered down on me with a menacing expression on his face. I knew he was being sarcastic. "Like a little doggie…going out to do his business! Pffahahah!"

I cringed inside. That was rude. And yes, it upset me.

"Hahaha! That's a good one!" Panic fell about laughing all over again. "That's a killer!" He almost fell out of the tree in the process.

I glared at them, silently outraged by their humiliating remarks. In that moment I despised them. Could you believe the audacity of them? Both of them, giggling at my misfortune like naughty little school boys. I didn't need to wonder why they call these guys 'imps'. Their immature insults cemented the reputation of their species.

I used the harshness of my voice to break up their manic chuckling. "Are you here to take me back to the Underworld?" I snapped at them. "Or are you just here to tick me off?" I actually said something a lot ruder than 'tick', something beginning with 'P'. But this story isn't the place for profanities of that kind.

"That depends." The tubby little imp swaggered. "Are you ready to go walkies? Or do you need to _go_ again?"

Panic snickered with Pain before adding to his own touch to his colleague's cruel taunting. "You know it hasn't rained in months." The green imp teased. "I think this tree could do with watering! Pfhahah!"

"Feck you!" I fired from my lips the only defence I could think of. And again, I actually said something much ruder.

" _Ooo_." The two of them leaned over the branch that held them secure. " _Touch-ee_."

I wasn't going to stand for this. "When I tell Hades what you said to me he's going to make you sorry!" I threatened them with the only thing in this world I knew they were afraid of. Their boss.

" _I wouldn't do that if I were you_ ~" Pain warned me in a sing-song tone. "Hades is so ticked off right now you wouldn't wanna touch him with a thirty-foot pole."

"Yeah. Right now he's a nothing but a ticking time bomb!" Panic backed up his fatty friend. "Open your mouth and he'll explode in your face."

"Like he does with you?" I growled. I wanted to point out that they couldn't avoid Hades's wrath like I might have been able to. At least that was one benefit to be had if I really couldn't return to him any time soon. I could avoid him. These little troublemakers can't.

I really wanted to give them a piece of my mind. I wanted to shout at them, I wanted to hurt them back. But I'm not Hades. I'm no hothead and I have more control over my impulses than that. Besides, I'm a kind person at heart. And even though I was offended by the mocking of these mischievous imps I still didn't really want to follow their example. I would only validate it. I believed it was wrong to bully people like that, so I wasn't about to become a bully myself.

"Just…take me back." I grumbled. "For feck sake." That time, I really did say what I typed.

They did just that. Not because I told them to, I doubted, but because their boss had told them to.

I followed them through the forest, wandering amongst greenery. And as it turns out, I didn't have to wander very far. Only a few dozen meters from where I had been standing was a rocky mound, like the start of a steep incline. And upon the rocky face, nestled in the shrubbery was an archway into the stone.

I was led into the darkness, and it was pure darkness as I could hardly even see my hand in front of my face. All I could do was place a hand upon the rough wall and feel carefully with my feet to sense the ground and give myself a vague sense of direction. Ivry grew on the cave's ceiling and hung down until the tips reached the floor. They dangled in front of my face and body, and I kept having to brush them aside like bead-curtains as I strayed forth.

But as I continued to tread, the texture of the ground beneath my boots changed greatly. I halted in my tracks, unsure of what I had felt. It was level and far smoother than the rough rock that preceded it. I shuffled my foot forward and felt a drop. But it couldn't have been a steep drop as the demonic duo were already ahead of me. I felt further still until my feet touched another surface, identical to the last.

They were steps. It was a stairway. Well at least it wasn't going to be a sheer drop taking me back to the Greek Underworld. Even though I still had to tread carefully with my hand on the wall at all times to steady myself.

It was still too dark to see and I thought the stairway was only going to get darker and darker as I followed the imps and wandered further and further from the light. But it wasn't long before I noticed a flicker of blue from somewhere down the way, and soon enough I saw a torch mounted upon the right wall.

Now my path had finally be illuminated, I could fully appreciate all that surrounded me. The steps I had been led down were black marble and they were decorated with art chiseled into the stone. And the walls were decorated too. With columns engraved at the top of the black walls that seemed to symbolise Greek houses. Blow them was what looked like a jagged vertical patten running all the way down to a series of skulls that ran along the bottom of the wall.

I proceeded slowly, admiring all that I saw with an essence of curiosity. More torches burning a blue fire ran all the way down the stairs and they eventually brought me to the same network of caves that I at last recognised. The journey was over, and it was time for the imps to split. I couldn't even remember their last mocking words before they scurried off. I was too busy thinking about the mess I'd gotten myself into.

Was this really the only way in and out of the Underworld for a mortal like me? If it wasn't the only way, was there not a quicker way? I couldn't be doing this every three hours, every time I needed to relieve my mortal needs. I know Pain and Panic had warned me that Hades was in a frightful mood and under any other circumstances I would have heeded their warning. It was the only comment leaving their lips that night that I actually believed.

But I wasn't prepared to live like this. I couldn't! And sooner or later I was going to need more things. Food. Water. Somewhere to sleep… May my own God have mercy on me, because I was going to have to confront Hades again sooner or later.


End file.
